Earlier this week, I was talking to my email subscribers about how even little actions can lead to big results.
In that case, I was speaking about how when I lopped off some of my hair it helped me feel more energized and excited. But, it got me to thinking about some of the other times I've used this technique, and how just having an intention to transform can totally change your reality.
One of the best examples of this in my life followed the death of my first husband, Mike.
After he died, I was distraught. No one expects to become a widow at 42. I had lost my husband, had a mountain of medical bills to pay, and was down more than half of our income. Our insurance didn't pay off any of our possessions due to his death. So, I was still responsible for the mortgage and three car payments. I wasn't sure how I would manage everything, let alone cope with my grief. However, I was self-aware enough that I had the firearms and liquor removed from the house by a family member after Mike's funeral. I didn't want the temptation, just in case...
I'll be honest. The days after were extremely difficult. My mother-in-law called daily, at first, to lament over his death, since they were close. However, when I tried to share in her grief, she didn't want to hear it. She would hang up on me instead. Eventually, both of my in-laws refused to speak to me at all. I thought my heart couldn't break further, but it did.
Then, there were days, when I was so torn up, our 17 year old son would have to pick me up off the shower floor where I had collapsed in tears, sobbing to the point of exhaustion. I found it difficult to function. All I wanted to do was lay in bed. I would sleep most days curled up with the shirt Mike had been wearing when he went to the hospital because it still smelled like him. Chores did not get done. I quit taking care of myself. I took care of our son and our pets, but that was it. I knew something had to change, but I didn't have the energy or desire to do so. I was spiraling down a rabbit hole and had no clue how to get out. And, then I made a decision....
I decided I would celebrate every little thing I accomplished. If I got out of bed, I celebrated. If I brushed my teeth, I celebrated. If I took a shower, put on clothes, or made the bed, I celebrated. I celebrated every fucking thing I accomplished. And, those celebrations began to make a difference.
I was like a seedling pushing back the soil and gradually making it's way through the dark to be kissed by the sun. I made the decision that just because my life had landed in the shit, didn't mean I had to build my house there. I scrabbled, clawed, and dragged myself out of that pit of despair, one celebration, one tiny action, at a time. And, those tiny actions led me to some big results.
I started re-engaging with the world. I began to take ownership of my situation instead of just being the victim. I convinced myself that there were important lessons I needed to learn from my circumstances. And, I realized I had the opportunity to start again but with all the wisdom I learned from 40+ years of living. I did not have to end up bitter like my mother did after my father's death when I was a teenager. I could do it differently.
We may not be able to control the circumstances life throws at us. But, we can ABSOLUTELY choose how we react to them! When I started looking at things with a more positive attitude, more positive things showed up. The more optimistic I stayed, the more the Universe rewarded me - with a place to stay when I lost my house, with a lottery win when I was broke, with a free teddy bear when I needed something to hold onto to sleep.
I pulled myself up from the dregs and back into the world, and I've been going gangbusters since. I recreated my life into one that is more authentic and more satisfying than it was previously, when I let people dictate how I showed up in the world. I went back to college and got a bachelor's degree. I found a job I enjoyed. I rented my first place then eventually was able to purchase a lovely circa 1900 house in our town's historic section. I met and married a man who embraces my witchy side and supports me unconditionally. I even started my own business to show others how to do the same.
And, you can too. You can choose - stay where you are or move forward.
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