Updated: Mar 7
I know I said my next blog was going to be about my soul-search journey, but I changed my mind. Instead, I'm going to go on a bit of a rant. LOL. If you know me, you're not surprised. If you don't, well, let's just say when I get passionate about something I just go with the flow, plans be damned. Anyway, here goes...
I have been called a lot of things - a nerd, a black sheep, a trouble maker, a bitch, a witch, a miracle. I've been told I'm naive, selfish, stupid, smart, ornery, and so much more. I've been treated like I'm a child, a slut, a pariah, and trash. Some I've deserved. Others, not so much. But, don't call me a badass.
I know. I know.
Badass seems to be the cool term women are throwing around lately to describe themselves and I get it.
They want to be rewarded for being powerful, authentic, independent, and unapologetic in a world that still expects women to be "good girls" - polite, quiet, malleable, followers.
They want to be acknowledged for the fires they've walked through and survived. They want to be seen as the strong, not taking any bullshit individuals they are...
But, I hate the term, badass.
OK. Maybe hate is too strong a word, but the actual meaning of badass is "a tough, uncompromising, or intimidating person". And that is not who I want to be.
Now, granted, there are times where I will be all of those things, such as when someone is trying to push my boundaries. Then, being tough, uncompromising, or intimidating is appropriate. But badass is not something I want to be all the time. It's not how I want to describe myself, and it's certainly not how I want to be seen by others.
I don't want to be a badass because:
It seems like such a masculine term and
I am so much more than that
I don't want to be tough.
Tough is hard. I believe women can be soft, kind, and compassionate, and still be powerful. In fact, I think this is one of our greatest strengths. I want to be considered resilient. Tough is brittle, unyielding, where resilience allows you to bend without breaking.
I don't want to be seen as uncompromising.
That means I'm stiff or stuck or always thinking I know best. I believe there is a lot to be learned from other people and their perspectives. I think there are ways to make almost any situation a win-win scenario, so neither party feels left behind or unheard. And, I believe we are capable of compromising without losing our authenticity or becoming a doormat.
And, I don't want to be seen as intimidating.
I don't want to scare people away. I want to draw them towards me. I don't want them to follow me blindly. I want them to actually hear what I have to say and then, make their own decisions. Intimidation is threatening. I believe we can be unapologetically powerful without making someone feel small or demanding acquiescence.
I prefer the term wild woman or goddess or, and my personal favorite, sorceress. Untamable. Powerful. Feminine. Creative. Magical.
To me, these hold a sense of freedom, of ease and flow. And I'd much prefer being steeped in that kind of energy. So, call me any of those terms, just don't call me a badass.