top of page

Don't Call Me a Badass

Updated: Mar 7

I know I said my next blog was going to be about my soul-search journey, but I changed my mind. Instead, I'm going to go on a bit of a rant. LOL. If you know me, you're not surprised. If you don't, well, let's just say when I get passionate about something I just go with the flow, plans be damned. Anyway, here goes...

I have been called a lot of things - a nerd, a black sheep, a trouble maker, a bitch, a witch, a miracle. I've been told I'm naive, selfish, stupid, smart, ornery, and so much more. I've been treated like I'm a child, a slut, a pariah, and trash. Some I've deserved. Others, not so much. But, don't call me a badass.

I know. I know.

Badass seems to be the cool term women are throwing around lately to describe themselves and I get it.

They want to be rewarded for being powerful, authentic, independent, and unapologetic in a world that still expects women to be "good girls" - polite, quiet, malleable, followers.

They want to be acknowledged for the fires they've walked through and survived. They want to be seen as the strong, not taking any bullshit individuals they are...

Me too.

But, I hate the term, badass.

OK. Maybe hate is too strong a word, but the actual meaning of badass is "a tough, uncompromising, or intimidating person". And that is not who I want to be.

Now, granted, there are times where I will be all of those things, such as when someone is trying to push my boundaries. Then, being tough, uncompromising, or intimidating is appropriate. But badass is not something I want to be all the time. It's not how I want to describe myself, and it's certainly not how I want to be seen by others.

I don't want to be a badass because:

  1. It seems like such a masculine term and

  2. I am so much more than that

I don't want to be tough.

Tough is hard. I believe women can be soft, kind, and compassionate, and still be powerful. In fact, I think this is one of our greatest strengths. I want to be considered resilient. Tough is brittle, unyielding, where resilience allows you to bend without breaking.

I don't want to be seen as uncompromising.

That means I'm stiff or stuck or always thinking I know best. I believe there is a lot to be learned from other people and their perspectives. I think there are ways to make almost any situation a win-win scenario, so neither party feels left behind or unheard. And, I believe we are capable of compromising without losing our authenticity or becoming a doormat.