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Stop "Shoulding" Yourself

I recently held a Boot Camp where I shared the 5 things I was stopping in 2024. They came about when I was asking Spirit where I needed to expand. So, I was kind of surprised the answer came in the form of things I should stop. But, then they made absolute sense.

Using the word "should" was one of them.

Woman saying stop

Now, I've always had a difficult relationship with this word. "Should" feels restrictive. Not something that Manifestors handle well. And, there were a lot of shoulds (and should nots) in my life when I was growing up.

And when you are always doing what you should do (AKA feeling leashed) instead of what you want to do (being unleashed), it has an impact. Your Not Self Theme (anger, frustration, bitterness, disappointment) will show up so damn fast, it will make your head spin.

And yet, I catch myself using the word "should" all the time. Ugh!

Years of feeling I needed to behave in a certain way to be loved, left me conditioned to to put other people's beliefs and desires ahead of my own. Those ideas usually came in the form of how and what I should be. I'm betting you can relate.

If I didn't do what was expected of me, then the guilt trips would start. And let me tell you, some of them were doozies. Like having a family member blame my husband's death on my ambition. Not kidding. They told me it was my punishment for making too much money. Mind you, I was making just over 100K. Not much at all, considering, but more than the rest of my family members were making.

And, if that wasn't bad enough, I learned to guilt trip myself too. I often did things I didn't want to do in that moment because I felt like I should do them.

Again, I bet you can relate.

We often do things out of a sense of obligation or from a place of pressure, even when we don't want to...

That's how "should" works.

But you need to stop "shoulding" yourself.

When you use the word "should" you need to immediately stop and assess the situation because it's an indicator you are getting ready to do something you don't really want to do.

Something that will bring you out of alignment and plop you right into your Not Self Theme.

So, before you do what you think you should, weigh the pros and cons.

  • Is what you should do so important that it's worth you feeling your Not-Self Theme (angry, frustrated, bitter, disappointed)?

  • How will feeling that way affect things, if you choose to do what you should instead of what you want?

  • What ramifications are there if you do what you want instead?

Which is why, when I told myself I should go tape a video for the Boot Camp, even though I was tired and didn't feel like doing it, I stopped. I assessed the pros and cons of doing what I wanted instead. And, I decided two things...

  • Forcing myself to do the video would aggravate me and that energy would come across to my participants. Something I absolutely did not want to occur.

  • Practicing what I was preaching and explaining it to them (in writing, lol) would be an even better way to get my point across.

So, if expansion is something you want in 2024, or if you just want to unleash your inner sorceress further, then pay attention to how often and when you use the word "should". Maybe, it's something you want to stop as well.

P.S. Want to know how unleashed your inner sorceress is? Grab this free worksheet and find out.

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